


The Heart of the Dread Wolf

by CultMother



Series: The Dread Wolf's Tears [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Porn, Dream Sex, F/M, Fade Sex, Kidnapping, Lemon, Memory Alteration, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-26 15:44:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9909395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CultMother/pseuds/CultMother
Summary: *Okay, so the events of Trespasser happen RIGHT after Solas leaves in this fic...*Taking place after Solas leaves the inquisition, he finds himself watching the Inquisitor in her dreams. However, at one point, she chases him deeper than he intended.Although he broke it off, she exclaims the importance of them meeting face to face.Solas... well, Solas can't help but agree.There was something else he never counted on.Reality's a bitch, isn't it, Solas?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hihi, I'm a bit new to Archive... but I'm on wattpad! ^^ Feel free to *come find me.* I have plenty of stories I'll be putting on Archive... PLENTY. MORE AND MORE LEMONS. MORE AND MORE FANFICTIONS. HAHA, YOU CANNOT ESCAPE.  
> I mean, pleased to have some new readers of their own free will..!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end.

"Inquisitor!" Cassandra screamed, dashing through the trees. The snow under her feet made crunching sounds as her heart pounded so hard she could hear the blood rushing through her veins. Her friend and the woman she fought side by side with in battle was here; the intel was correct. This time, they would succeed.

Dorian followed closely behind, screaming the Inquisitor's name. What a bond they'd had. She was like a little sister to him. At times it had made Solas jealous, as he didn't understand the true nature of their relationship. He only saw their closeness. Dorian hurt but was eager to see her again! He prayed for her safeness. Maker, she cannot die now! Not after the effort it took to chase after her. 

Cole dashed through the trees making sure to keep beside Dorian. He was as worried as the others, but he knew Solas would not harm the Inquisitor. Probably. Maybe. He was unsure. He'd known of Fen'Harel's intentions the entire time but perhaps, he'd thought, the Inquisitor could change them. He was wrong. But Fen'Harel still saw Lavellan as a threat to his cause.

Cullen followed closely behind, lagging because of the weight of his armour. He felt something more for the Inquisitor than the others. Perhaps both he and Cole felt the same for her but Cullen made it known. Cole probably didn't know what it was and disregarded it. But Cullen, he'd been disappointed to learn of her involvement with Solas. That seemed like it had been so long ago. But now, now, she could possibly let him go and come to Cullen, come into his arms where she belonged rather than chasing the tail of the Dread Wolf.

Iron Bull was charging forwards, taking out an eleven archer with one hit and a great roar. He would save the woman he had come to be close friends with. They shared a bond through blood! Losing such an ally wouldn't reflect well on him especially when she made him Tal'Vishoth. Maybe not a glorious title for sure but even if he despised it at first he became grateful in the coming days as he abandoned the Qun even further. Varric and Hawke were behind, taking out the enemies the others had practically ignored. Both were grumbling about the work effort, but both were just as keen to find the Inquisitor, who had been missing for months.

Blackwall bitterly cut down enemies with the folks in the back, somewhat annoyed at being left behind and not able to catch up. He was never relevant to anyone. Nobody noticed his effort, ever.

Sera was now catching up. "I knew something was wrong with Solas! I bet you one hundred coins he screams Elven GLORY in bed. What do you think he's doing to her? Do you think he has her tied up? Oooo, I can't wait to tie HIM up. After, you know, we kill him. On the inquisition's front steps. To let people know we aren't to be messed with. Not in a sexual way."

Cassandra charged forwards, slamming her shoulder into an elven warrior. "Sera, now is not the time to bet on Solas' bed habits! Focus on finding and retrieving the Inquisitor!"

Morrigan glanced away guiltily; she had silently been following, not speaking an ounce. The Inquisitor had made her promise she would not tell them. Still, she fought on with her companions. After they'd gone to such lengths to chase her down? Of course she felt guilty about not telling.

They finally made it to the ancient temple in which the Inquisitor was heavily guarded. A woman with supple breasts, draped in the finest cloth and with stunning white hair, whiter than the surface of the moon, stood before an altar. Her lips were a cherry red and she had the aura that one could only describe as the aura of a goddess. Two elven knights approached the party, who was stunned at what they saw. The Inquisitor was not held down, as they believed, but free and standing? And then she turned around, and their jaws dropped.

"Inquisitor... Lavellan?" Cassandra whispered, slowly advancing up the steps. Her forearm had been restored but she seemed to be in no pain. That wasn't the only part of her appearance that'd changed, however. She'd step forwards, her bare feet brushing across the old stone of the temple, two Fen'Harel statues flanking either side of her and standing a proud vigil over the elven woman, and tilt her head to the side.

Nobody expected what came next.

"Who are you?"


	2. Chasing the Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our dearest Inquisitor cannot leave well enough alone and must chase the wolf ever deeper... where will this reckless, selfish behavior land her?

Every night my dream is the exact same. Well, it ends exactly the same. I'm doing something or I'm with someone and he appears. He's stalking me from a distance, watching me with sad and lonely eyes. I always chase after him, but the distance between us becomes greater and I know it is him.

The Dread Wolf.  
My Solas.

Maker, how my heart longed for the one I loved.

Tonight, I am sitting with Dorian on my bed. He is embracing me, but for some reason, as usual, my bed is in the middle of a mist-covered forest. This was the time where the Dread wolf usually appeared. Dorian was comforting me about Solas; he was telling me that we'd bring him back.

As Solas appeared, I released myself from Dorian's grip, who seemed confused.

I took a step towards him. The wolf took a step back. This continued until we were running, playing our endless game of tag. I never seemed to gain the strength to simply.. call out to him. What on earth would I say?

I wanted to feel him on my lips again. I wanted to be embraced by him and feel our bodies connecting again.

Maker, was he my undoing.

I gasped, sitting upright, finally waking from the dream.

And in doing so I found someone I never expected to be there, her hand on my stomach and her face uncharacteristically pale for her personality. The unyielding Morrigan, with confidence and whimsical surprises, looking as if she'd just seen a rage demon give someone a flower and hug to apologize for attacking.

"Inquisitor, are you alright? Feeling faint? Anything?" She'd press her hand against my forehead in quite the strange gesture of.. well, worry..?

"I am fine, Morrigan," I insisted. "Losing Solas only increases my drive to find him, it doesn't make me sick in bed."

I do admit that I had been sleeping more than usual, for just a taste... just to see the man I loved watching over me from a distance.

Morrigan would let out one of her laughs. "Inquisitor, are you daft? How do you not realize?" I was a little surprised at her insult but perhaps she was speaking of my dreams. Morrigan definitely had ways of knowing these things. Maybe she wasn't as wise as Fen'herel... Solas... but she was wise.

"What are you talking about, Morrigan? Cut the pleasantries and get to it. I have a headache and I honestly feel like I'm about to be sick." This gave cue to another laugh from Morrigan. Damn, I was really getting sick of this.

"Inquisitor, you are with child."

My entire world stopped as my eyes raised to meet Morrigan's. Now it was my turn to laugh. "Morrigan, you can't be serious! Quite a curious prank to pull but I assure you I am not pregnant."

"I did a little test while you were sleeping. At first I suspected it but I wasn't sure. It was about a week before Solas... well, before he... broke it off. Since he seemingly stood guard over your bedroom without anybody knowing I could not exactly slip in to check. Yes, he did that up until he left a week ago. You're putting on weight, aren't you?"

I had to think about what she was saying. This would mean I'd been pregnant for three weeks. There was no way... there was no way. Surely I'd been feeling sick in the mornings recently, and I'd been adding pounds on too, but that was the stress of Solas breaking my heart and leaving me...! There was no way that I could be having.. his... child. We only did it outside of the Fade ONCE!

"Inquisitor, you must accept this. I've been with child before and have more experience than you. You are with child. Solas' child."

"How the hell can I birth the child of a man who has abandoned me?! How can I tell Solas? How can I tell the Inquisition? Oh my god, shouldn't any man be infertile after a thousand years of sleep?!" This off comment caused Morrigan to fall off of the bed laughing. I glared at her.

"At least you had the chance to bed an immortal elven god. Was he good in bed?"

"False Elven god, Morrigan. Also, are you not taking this seriously?! I am with child. How might I run the Inquisition, fight, pregnant?!" I sighed, putting my head in my hands, resting my elbows on the soft Orlesian silk of my bed. One of the many comforts I could afford from my own pocket.

"Well, I could... help with that." I glowered at her. If she dared hurt my unborn child...! "Relax, Inquisitor. No harm will come to your child. However, you do need to... contact the father."

"And how might I do that?"  
"Your dreams."  
"I've only told Dorian of those." I paled, my fury rising. Dorian couldn't have possibly...?

"It's interesting what you can get out of a drunk Tevinter Mage. I know secrets about you and Dorian that most would only dream of knowing. Also why I know Solas is extremely satisfying in bed. The abilities to hold my liquor and to make an undetectable truth potion are, in the greatest sense, two of the best skills I have acquired in my life."

"Damn it, Dorian." I murmured under my breath. Morrigan reached out and clasped one of my hands in both of hers.

"As a fellow mother, I will provide you with the means to catch the Dread Wolf in your dreams. However, you will have only five minutes, no more. Someone as powerful as Solas might even cut it to thirty seconds. Point? Say what needs to be said quickly. I won't spy."

I was about to protest before Morrigan began to chant something under her breath and I felt the pull of sleep as I delved into my dreams. 

This time, I was in the middle of the most-covered woods, standing in front of a very confused Solas. "Whoever has pulled me into this spell, know that I will find you and I will kill you for causing me to sleep in the middle of-" He turned and his face went pale. "My... love... this is not your work. But how did Morrigan even manage to...? I made quite sure to leave nothing that belonged to me behind."

Not quite, Solas. You left a child behind. You know. Inside me.

"Solas, I must speak to you beyond the Fade. It is not only dire it is a matter of life or death."

"Stop chasing me, Inquisitor. If you'll excuse me I have business to get back to." His voice was cold and sharp like the edge of a blade. It affected me more than a normal wound would, though. At least wounds of the flesh could heal.

At the same time it filled me with rage.

"Listen here, you selfish, silly elf! You will meet me alone, no weapons or followers on either side, Emerald Graves. Wolf Falls." It was somewhat ironic that I was asking him to meet me in such a place, filled with telltale signs and monuments to Fen'Herel. However, his mouth hung wide open. "Be there in two days. If what we had was real as you truly said it was you will not fail me again." The last was a sharp dagger intended to jig him; the pain was clear on his face.

"Very well."

"Morrigan. You're probably eavesdropping. Release Fen'Herel from your spell."

I could feel myself waking up, Solas' eyes never leaving my form and even as I faded he lingered, words on his lips that he desired to express but could not.

Now he knows how I feel.


	3. May the Dread Wolf Take You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas and Lavellan meet.
> 
> A mistake is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter pretty much almost made me cry. You keep trying to save him, Lena Lavellan. DO IT! Come on, I believe in you! Even if Solas is kind of being a dick.

Their confusion was apparent as I departed with Morrigan. She'd said she was going to leave the Inquisition a while back but she seemed to extend her stay more and more.

"Are you sure you don't want to take anyone else with you?" Cullen asked, his hands resting on my shoulders, his eyes having a wisp of hope for what could be between us. My heart belonged to someone whom ripped it from me, however. I felt bad for Cullen. Chasing what he couldn't have. What didn't belong to him yet he wanted to so badly it probably hurt. "It would make me feel better if you took more than a witch." He glanced up at Morrigan. "No offence."

"None taken. I'd be a witch over a Templar any day."

Cullen let out a distasteful sigh.

"I'll be fine, Cullen." I removed his hands from my shoulders, uncomfortable being in lingering contact with him. He seemed devastated when I withdrew from his touch as fast as possible. I simply felt like I was betraying Solas by letting him touch me. Even if I was betrayed I remained loyal.

Both Cole and Dorian stepped up to talk to me. Dorian came first, as intuitive as ever. "If you're going to find the Elven artifact, don't forget to send word about it." It was funny what sort of things Dorian could come up with to describe Solas. He certainly was an Elven artifact.

"Going to see him. Seeking the wolf. Hunting the hunter. Children singing in the woods, wolf pup. Roaring waterfall. Painful, pure, tainted purpose. Lies." Cole said, looking me up and down knowingly. Dorian looked at him, confused.

"Cole, you need to not do that right now. And you can't tell anyone about it, all right? I trust you with this." I lowered my voice to whisper to him so even the nosy Dorian couldn't hear. He nodded, squeezing my hand tightly before pulling away to go do whatever Cole did when he disappeared from sight.

"Ah, Inquisitor. Bring me back a souvenir from wherever the hell you're going, okay?" Varric seemed to just casually walk through the farewell crowd. "I want a flower. Get me the pretty red one, and tell me I'm special." He said, sarcastically. We both had a good laugh over that personal joke. I had been getting roses from a secret admirer with some steamy messages and Varric had been the one to track them down. Needless to say, Solas wasn't pleased that I hadn't gone to him about it.

I didn't see Cassandra, but I did get that traditional slap on the back from Iron Bull that caused me to topple over. Luckily he caught me. "Man, we've gotta kill some shit when you get back! There's word of some bandits holed up in some fortress terrorizing a nearby town. I'll get the details while you're gone and when you get back we can kill em all!" Bull was one of the greatest friends I could ask for. He was the kind to know when to give sorrow and mourn and when to distract me. Of course I wanted to tell him where I was going, but then he'd insist on coming, I'd say no, he'd follow me anyways, and try to crush Solas' skull for the pain Solas had caused me.

Dorian would probably just cheer him on and say that Solas was an asshole but he really wouldn't go out of his way to do anything unless I asked him to.

Cole would just Cole.

As I waved to the few who had come to the gate, the ones who weren't busy, I wondered what Cassandra, Liliana and Sera were doing. Probably something dangerous. The three were a mix of dares and bad endings.

As I departed, curiously, nobody suspected that Morrigan and I were up to something, scheming. As we traversed the land, taking the first day to scale much of the distance upon horseback, we managed to have some decent conversation.

"Morrigan... do you believe Solas loves me?" I'd ask, sitting at the crackling campfire as the flames grew ever higher. I stared into them. "Do you think what we had was real...?"

"I am not the one to answer those questions, Inquisitor. Only Solas and Solas alone may have the truths that you seek." She rested her chin on her knee, staring deep into the flames that seemed to turn each additional piece of wood to ash in such a short time. "But if you want my opinion, I think he may. The man loved you, so he tried to let you go, so his plans might come to fruition. So nothing held him back on his path."

He chose the path that would destroy the world over being with me. Why? Why on earth would Solas ever find that to drive him rather than simply staying? Being happy? Was he unsatisfied? There were so many questions.

"Did you know we have a saying? A few, actually, all about Solas. 'May the Dread Wolf take you.' 'May the Dread Wolf never catch your scent.' 'May the Dread Wolf never hear your footsteps.' All of these are quite the opposite of what I find Solas to be. Could it be that he's different than the man I love? Is he really who he is, or is that a lie too?" My questions were never ending and I could tell Morrigan was reeling from them.

"Look, Inquisitor. I may be wise but I do not possess the answers you so fervidly desire. I do not know who Solas is. I do not personally know the Dread Wolf. You are the only one who has ever possibly gotten that close to him. So, in this case, Inquisitor... you would be the one to have the answers you seek." Morrigan's words rang true but I couldn't trust Solas. Recent events proved that. If I couldn't trust Solas, if he had lied to me about all of this, who was to say he wasn't lying about who he was? There was only one way I could determine that truly, Solas' words of love for me were true.

He would be there. He had to be there. If he was not there I did not know what I would do.

When it came time to part ways, I'd grasp Morrigan's hands firmly in my one remaining. Down this road lay the Emerald Groves, and perhaps, even, Solas.

My breath caught as I reached Wolf Falls. I was eager to enter but then I was not; it was as simple as a lasting painful fear in my chest that grew larger with each beat. What if Solas wasn't there? I'd wait until midnight. If he wasn't here I'd send word to Morrigan and Dorian by use of the Inquisition camp nearby.

Wolf Falls had been abandoned at least two months ago. The torches were still lit, perhaps a task done by the nearby Inquisition camp. This place was once a place that protected people, but when we took the bandits down they moved to that safer fortress. A very confusing one but safe nonetheless.

As I swallowed my fear and took a step inside the Falls I didn't immediately see Solas. In fact, even if I looked around corners, he wasn't there. My heart fell. But, judging by the sun, it was early afternoon. Maybe he was simply late or held back or planned on coming later just in case, under the cover of darkness.

I had to still hold on to the only fragments of hope left for us. So, I sat by the waterfall, on the railing, completely ignoring the danger of falling down. I brought no blade with me. I'd left it back at the encampment. Hopefully no bandits came through, but if push came to shove... I'd tear the bandits a new one with my bear hands. Ah, there's a legend the Inquisitor possibly hasn't made yet. I'd chuckle to myself; if only Dorian was here, we'd be joking around a warm campfire waiting for nightfall together. I'd also feel much safer.

As the hours ebbed on and the sky got darker I began to despair for Solas was extremely late. I was feeling exhausted, about to give up and retire to the Inquisition camp to rest, when...

"I had watched over and guarded this place for two days, vhenan. I had hoped you would leave before midnight and give up, but if you had truly persisted I would do as I am doing now, coming out to meet you." So he'd been here the entire time. Waiting. Watching. It was no surprise he'd step out from the shadowed areas. However, he remained in the darkness so I may not see his face. I stood, to my feet, the one hand I had left slowly reaching upwards, grasping out for Solas.

With every step to him he took a step backwards, withdrawing from me. "Please, vhenan." I begged, desperately. "Come into the torchlight and speak with me." I saw movement in his expression but I couldn't make it out because of him being in the shadows. I knew, that possibly, it was a sad one.

"I must not come into contact with you, vhenan. You cannot change what is to come. I can not let you." He was still prattling on about that?! I sighed and turned to the waterfall.

"Solas, you left something behind when you left Skyhold."

"Impossible." His tone was flat; he clearly took confidence in the fact he'd collected all his items. "I checked three times. There is no possible way I could have left anything behind; you wouldn't count, either, as you are no longer mine." As much as the words stung, it was in a sense true. Although my heart belonged to him, he rejected it. He had truly finished off all ends; frayed each rope. But there was one thing Solas didn't predict.

Something he didn't count on.

"Solas..." I breathed, and he took a sharp intake of breath. Being this close to me, even just a few steps away... I wanted to tear our clothes off and embrace him right here, show him what he meant to me through body language. "Solas, there's something we need to talk about but I need you to come here and sit down."

"I am perfectly fine where I am, Vhenan." He'd let his polite mask slip with our first exchange of words but he had a tight grip on it now. He was cold as the edge of a steel blade. "You may relay your life or death information to me from where I stand."

Very well. If Solas wanted to play stuck up prick, then I would give it to him.

"I am with child."

There was a silence between us, one that lasted for several minutes. "Whose?" His voice was a dull, low whisper. He knew.

"Solas, it is yours."

A gasp came from his lips as he stepped into the light, taking a few more steps towards me, closing the gap on his own. The shock on his face, the tears that were streaming down and sparkling in the torchlight, made me realize why he wanted to stay enveloped in darkness. It hurt to see him hurt. "No... it can't be."

"Are you suggesting that I sleep around with several men? Solas, you are the only man I've ever been with. You know this." He turned away from me, his breathing hard and laboured. Perhaps as the Dread Wolf, he had his fair share of virgins. I felt a little pang of jealousy at that thought, but those concubines were long gone. Only I remained.

"Why would you do this to me? Why are you lying to me?! If you loved me, you wouldn't do this to me! Not now!" He shouted, turning back red-faced and full of rage. How dare he?!

"If you want to go throwing around if you loved me's, let's talk about your deceit, Dread Wolf." Now that was a dagger he deserved as he flinched. How dare he turn on me like this? "After all of your fuck ups, how dare you suggest that I may be lying?! Cast any spell you may have in your library that may help, but there is a child inside me. Your child." This seemed to strike him true; he slumped to the ground and I approached him, falling to my knees and pressing his face against my breast. He grabbed onto my upper arms, his body wracked with sobs.

"What ever can we do...?" He whispered. He now had something to choose between. If he feared it real before, he must truly fear it now. His child or his legacy, tearing down the veil and submitting all of us, his seed included, to chaos and death... Or choosing to save his little surprise.

"You can start by not trying to destroy our world. By not going on this suicide mission!" I said, sharply, my words wounding him once more. I rubbed his back and he rose his eyes to meet mine and that was when I knew I made a mistake for Solas only got this look when... 

His grip tightened on my arms as he brought me to a stand. With his strength despite my own I could not twist away and it hurt the more I tried to. "I can start by protecting both you and my child. You shall bask in the Elvhen glory. I will teach you all I know and you shall be the new Dread Wolf; perhaps we might even find a way to save me so we can be a family together. Yes, this will work."

"Solas, no...!" I whispered, mortified. That wasn't what I wanted at all. None of this was what I wanted! I screamed at the top of my lungs but Solas only gave a sad smile.

"Vhenan, I am afraid that I must take them all. All of your memories. You will not recall anything, but you shall have a new life. I shall make you fall in love with me all over again, without any lies this time..." He'd begin to raise his hand to cast the spell.

"You mean, you're going to omit the truth while taking advantage of a helpless me?!" I snapped, and he drew an intake of breath. He smiled softly and shook his head. "Solas, vhenan. It is not too late. I can still turn you back from this path. Please, Solas! You don't have to do this. We can find a different way! We can do this together! Solas, please!"

Solas had stopped listening as he began to whisper words in Elvhen. The Inquisitor felt her memories fade from her mind; she cried desperately to hold onto them, but the Dread Wolf's power was greater than it ever had been when Solas was in the Inquisition.

Her last words, as truly her.

"Vhenan... I will never forgive you for this, Solas..."

All he did was hold her limp body to his chest, stroking her gently, placing a hand on her abdomen and stroking the area where his child was growing.

After a few minutes of this, he'd pick up his vhenan and began to walk out of Wolf Falls.


	4. Pleasures of the flesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavellan wakes from a deep slumber.  
> Solas, now known as Fen'Harel to her, greets her.
> 
> Both make mistakes.

As I rose from my slumber and stood to my feet, the first thought that came to my mind was that the sunlight was filtering in through a stone window overhead that was broken and covered in overgrown moss, vines and flowers. Something felt... strange. I looked down to notice that I was completely naked; I reached to cover myself and both of my hands scaled my body. A large scar wound around one of them; all the way around, connecting around the forearm.

I'd open my palm of the arm with the scar, glancing at it. It felt... like something was missing, but that I was complete anyways. Standing from the bed, which was covered in beautifully white silken sheets and had pillows adorned with sewings depicting trees, I took the time to glance around the room. Nature seemed intent to claim this stone palace; it was doing it so intently already. I leaned down, feeling safe being unclothed because I was alone and picked a flower growing from a patch of dirt on the ground. I brought it to my nose, smelling it, taking in everything around me.

I felt melancholy. I searched my mind for purpose, but I found none. I searched it for my name; it wasn't there. I thought of something or someone to go to to help with this but I didn't know anybody. All I could remember were a few things; bits and parts of an ancient language, and that I was Elven.

Stepping towards the heavy wooden door which I pushed open, not bothering to look for clothes in the bare, crumbling room I had awakened in, I found myself in a great, large hall with parts of its roof caved in. Statues depicting wolves were littered about the hall; it seemed to be a temple of some sort, but it looked worse for wear as if it hadn't been inhabited or cleaned up in decades.

My feet felt the cold of the stone and my bare, stark naked body felt the chill of the air. I glanced in wonder at the beauty of the ruins; even if it may not have been as glorious as perhaps it once was, it still held a sad, blissful piece of the past that made it all the more beautiful.

My attention came to the mirror at the end of the hall. It reached upwards, taller than any I'd ever seen. I couldn't remember if I'd seen a mirror before, though. I began to walk towards it cautiously. It was beautiful but it was very clear it had seen better days.

"Enjoying the sights of my temple?" A jovial voice turned my melancholy into panic as I spun to face an elf. He had a smile on his face, but his face flushed red as his eyes ventured down my body. I could tell he was attempting to avert his eyes, but failing, miserably. I rushed to cover myself, hiding my breasts with one arm and my lower half with my other hand. "Do not fear. I am the only one here."

"Who are you? Where am I? This is your temple?" I asked, in an alarmed, embarrassed whisper. He'd chuckle, and take a step towards me. I'd take a step back, and a frown would form on his face. There was something in his eyes, something that spoke of pain but I couldn't understand why.

''My name is Solas. What is yours, little Halla?" A halla? He was calling me a little halla...? Was he some sort of king? "Although, you may know me as Fen'Harel. The Dread Wolf." The Dread... Wolf? It took a second to come back to me, but the name of this man... Fen'Harel... Wait, this man was not a man, but a god?

I instantly kneeled, neglecting to cover my nude self. I was in the presence of a God and I was already screwing up massively. He'd let out a laugh that echoed the empty hall, and he'd offer his hand to me. I'd glance at him. "I do not know my name. I did not mean to disgrace your temple in any manner, my lord. I woke up here, I swear." The guilt in my voice was apparent; I simply hoped he wouldn't take it the wrong way. The wrath of Fen'Harel was not something I admired or wanted to ever experience and I was in the danger zone. I already woke up without knowing who or where I am, and now I was going to die so soon and by the hand of Fen'Harel nonetheless?! Today was not quite my day.

"Please, relax yourself, vhen... little Halla. I am the one who brought you here; nobody else would be able to access this place. Not without my permission or blessings, nonetheless." My shoulders instantly unstiffened as I gazed up at Lord Fen'Harel and rushed to cover myself with my hands again. "You need not cover yourself. I am quite used to seeing naked people; it is not something I am unaware of. Certainly you are not embarrassed, are you? There is no reason to be."

Of course there was no reason to be. He was a god. There was no way he would be interested in me in such a way; it was as easy as that. Still, why would he bring me to his private temple? Nothing was adding up. "Excuse my rudeness, my Lord, but why would you bring me here?" I felt infinitely more relaxed because Fen'Harel himself seemed to not have any ill intent towards me, but...

Wait, could someone have cursed me?! Did someone tell the Dread Wolf to take me?! What did he do to the ones he took? I couldn't recall...! Maybe the fact I couldn't recall was the result of him taking me?

"Simple. I have need of a companion. Even gods such as I get lonely. However, in exchange for my company, you must restore and take care of my temple. Somewhat like a chamber maid. I can teach you the ways of magic; however, I am sure that you will find you may already know." The knowing glance and the charming smile made my heart flutter like I'd never felt it before in my last ten minutes of memory. However, I shook off the butterflies. I was only a companion and a maid, nothing more. I couldn't let this go to my head.

"Where have my memories gone, Lord Fen'Harel?" I asked, keeping my voice low and gentle and my head lowered. I tried not to make eye contact, to be as respectful as possible.

"You gave yourself in service to me many days ago; where your memories went, perhaps we will learn in due time. I chose you as mine, because, Little Halla, I caught your scent." He called me his, in a low tone, seriously, and his eyes narrowed as he glanced at me with a hunger I could not explain. It did not feel like I was being hunted, but he called me a Halla... and he was the Dread Wolf. That made me feel a little confused, but... "Little Halla, I'd like to hear it. Say it to me; 'Fen'Harel, I am yours.'"

I was speechless; what he wanted me to say sounded less like a pledge in service and more in a... different, possessive way.

"Little Halla, I do not have much patience for this. There are things I must do." His voice was extremely low now, his eyes serious and his gaze stoic. He would get angry if I didn't say it, I could almost guarantee. He took a couple steps towards me before his bare hands laid themselves to rest on either of my arms, tracing downwards towards my hands. "Say it," He whispered, bringing one of his hands to my chin to force me to look at him, his lips and mine only a breath away from each other. I could feel the hotness of his breath; something inside me was stirring and I uncomfortably shifted my legs. "Say it." He repeated, this time more commanding.

"Fen'Harel, I am yours." I had said it without even intending to say it. The heat in my legs grew as the moisture did. His left hand slid down my arm, over my hand and onto my bare hip. His right hand rose and a single finger slid in between my breasts, all the way down to my abdomen and belly button, just below my hipline. I held in a gasp of air; he was barely touching me but god damn it, did I ever want Fen'Harel to take me here and now. I wanted to scream his name; what on earth was this feeling?

"Good." He said, dropping his hands and brushing past me, walking towards the mirror. He rose his hand and the thing hummed to life; I was slack-jawed at how that went. My mouth hung open in an 'o' of surprise. I expected him to... do something to me. Damn, did I imagine that entire mood that hung in the air? What was I thinking?! Fen'Harel was a god. I was but a humble servant to him. Someone to restore his temple. I needed to get these blasphemous thoughts out of my head; they were disrespectful to my Lord Fen'Harel. He most likely was touching me simply to see if I had come to any harm or something. "I will be back in three hours. Refrain from breaking this Eluvian; it is our only way in and out of here. I wouldn't want you to be trapped." With that, he stepped out, leaving me to my impure thoughts.

Three hours? What would I do here with three hours? ...Find some clothing. That was definitely number one on my list. Looking towards the sidelines I noticed some cloth and a note. Picking up the note, I skimmed over it quickly; it was a present from Lord Fen'Harel. "Why wouldn't he simply give it to me then and there? Why put it all into a note...?" Ultimately, I was confused, but at least I had something to wear. Putting it on was simple enough; I walked over to the Eluvian and admired my own reflection. My skin was on the darker side, more of a dark grey, but it was still beautiful nonetheless. My white hair fell gracefully down my shoulders, a single cowlick of bangs resting between my eyes. My hair travelled down to the backs of my knees and was tied in an exotic way. It seemed as if it had been brushed; were my astoundingly amazing looks due to Fen'Harel's care?

Who knows.

I stopped fooling around in front of the Eluvian and began to get to work; turns out opening an ancient closet and using ancient cleaning tools wasn't as easy as expected. I could get most of the work done simply by using the magic he claimed I had; at first, I was a little shaky with my levitation and restoration spells, but soon enough I had repaired three massive holes in the ceiling, much to my exhaustion. I had removed the rubble from the floor and had torn out the dirt and nature in the main hall, restoring it to its much-anticipated form from the olden days.

By the time three hours had passed I had restored the entire hall with magic and magic alone. This was when Lord Fen'Harel crossed through the portal, his arms behind his back and a slight, knowing smirk on his face. ''Good afternoon, vhe-" It seems as if he stopped mid-sentence. He'd done it before; what was he almost saying, but never did? "Little Halla." He corrected himself, deadpanning to make up for his previous mistake.

"Good afternoon, My Lord. Is there a place I can prepare lunch for you?" His smile widened as I offered to make him lunch but he shook his head, taking a moment to glance around the great hall. He closed his eyes and breathed in, taking in the feel of his newly repaired surroundings.

"You've done well, Little Halla." There was an affection in his voice that heightened when he said little Halla; the nickname he had given me sounded very dear to him when it rolled off his tongue. He seemed to be happy; his smile held something else, though. Something that I didn't understand.

 

"Why is it that when you smile, you look so sorrowful?" I asked, reaching up to touch his face. This was not usually a gesture done by a stranger but it felt so right. His gaze instantly turned sharp and cold like the edge of a blade and I backed up, in fear of the Dread Wolf.

"Who said you could touch me, Halla? Did I give you permission?" He snapped, his walls up faster than I could cast a restoration spell.

"No, my Lord. I apologize, my Lord Fen'Harel." I knelt to the ground, bowing my head as low as it was able. He let out a snide tch, turning away and shaking his head. I'd angered the Dread Wolf; I must truly have a death wish.

He'd turn towards an area that I hadn't yet furnished yet. "I am retreating to my quarters for today. You should do the same. Beyond the Eluvian, night has fallen. Here, there is eternal sun. I thought it fitting when I created it." He then murmured something under his breath, but I couldn't quite catch it. He glanced back at me as he retreated to his area of the castle, which seemed to be in more ruination than the other areas. I wanted him to linger but I didn't have the courage to call out for him to stay.

I rubbed my abdomen; it felt strange. Focusing more clearly on it, I could feel... mana? Energy? Magic? What...? Why would someone cast a spell on my body? It didn't feel like it had harmful effects but it was like no other magic I'd felt before. Even so, it was faint and very well hidden. I wasn't even sure if it was there or not.

I shook off my weird feeling of nostalgia and began to walk back to my own quarters to sleep.

**Solas**  
_{NSFW starts here}_

God, how I wanted to take her right then and there. I was getting impatient; the spell I had cast on her womb would not last forever. I had three months to woo her; if the spell that held back the growth of the child lasted any longer, it would kill it.

As I walked away, I glanced back. Calling her 'Little Halla' was secretly my secondary name for Vhenan for her. When I wanted to so desperately say vhenan, I instead said Little Halla. God, I needed to fuck her and I needed to do it now.

There was a way I could get away with it.

I lay my head down on my pillow, making sure not to lie down on my stiff erection, closing my eyes for the pull of the fade and the dream world.

**Lena Levallean**

Light filtered from above. I was scantily clad, my robes showing off a good amount of midriff and between my breasts. Was this a dream? It seemed to be a strange one so far.

I turned only to see Lord Fen'Harel walking up to me. "My Lord." I bowed. Oh, it was a dream. I needn't worry. I was in control. In an instant his hands were running up and down my body and my worry began. This felt so real, but I knew it was simply a dream.

His hands were placed on my sides but they slowly, sensually began moving up my body. It was my surprise when they slipped into my dress as he began to grope my breasts, roughly playing with my nipples.

His gaze didn't move from my eyes as he leaned in closer until our lips were a breath away from each other. "The Dread wolf wants a taste; it's time for him to take you." He whispered, his voice filled with authority. I felt helpless against him; I didn't want to do anything to stop him either.

He leaned in, nipping at my neck before sinking his teeth into my flesh and making me yelp. He lay a trail of kisses where he'd bitten, the marks of his teeth marking me as the Dread Wolf's prey. He pressed me against the wall of the great hall, his erection rubbing against my clothed lower body. "Fen'Harel..." I whispered, eager for more.

"Little Halla, I'm going to fuck you until you are no longer able to stand." He growled into my ear, nipping at the earlobe. I let out a moan; although I could feel how hard he was, it was his words, his breath, his touch that sent me off the edge. He smirked and chuckled, his eyes boring into me. Looking right through me. Even though I was clothed I felt as if every part of me was exposed and the intimate connection I felt... this was only a dream. This wasn't the real Fen'Harel. Was I being blasphemous by accepting this? Even so, it was _hot_. I didn't take myself for the blasphemous type but I wanted to scream Fen'Harel's name at the top of my lungs even if it was only a dream.

One of his hands found its way down to my leg, which he picked up and propped himself so he was completely against me. We were simply rubbing against one another but it felt so fucking good.

With his other hand, he tore the upper half of my dress, exposing my breasts. His tongue found my nipple and he began to lick, bite and suck on both, as best as he could. He was hungry, eager. I wanted more and eagerly pressed against him with all I had, but he withdrew, dropping my leg and beginning to walk away. "W...wait..." I whispered meekly, not wanting him to walk away.

"What was that, little Halla?" He said, in that smug, sexy voice of his. God, was it sexy? Had I ever thought that before? I didn't know but I was so wet that the fluids were soaking me. "Are you begging for me to fuck you? Hot for Fen'Harel, hmm? Come on, _beg_ for my cock. I may be feeling generous today."

I blushed a brilliant, tomato red. However, I knew that this dream version of Fen'Harel wasn't kidding around. I had to respond with something or he'd walk away. "Fen'Harel, please..." I whispered. His features twisted into a frown.

"That isn't how you beg, little Halla. Get on your hands and knees, speak up and ask politely for my cock." God, I needed him and I needed him now. I was almost delirious with lust as I dropped to my hands and knees, looking up at him, thirsting for him. He may not be the real Fen'Harel, this may simply be a fantasy, but could I possibly... actually feel a certain way about him?

"Please, Lord Fen'Harel. Please lend me your dick. Please!" He'd laugh, an echoing laugh, before walking up to me and grabbing a fistful of my hair. His hands trailed down but he paused at the hems of his breeches, eventually dropping them to his sides. 

It seemed as if he turned away icily without even saying goodbye, his expressions and emotions hidden to me. Had I displeased him?

"Wait, Lord Fen'Harel!" I had almost forgotten it was a dream.

"I'm sorry. I cannot disrespect you like this." He said, almost cryptically. What did he mean? "I've already done too much."

With that, he disappeared down the hall, leaving me alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavellan deals with her emotions.  
> Solas makes a rift between them.  
> Cullen has changed.  
> Dorian has a plan.

I awoke to the sounds of birds chirping as my mind seemed to wander from the dream I'd had. It was unfortunate but clearly the dream was warning me of something; I couldn't think of Fen'Harel that way. I was simply the keeper of his temple and the person he chose to restore it. Nothing more, nothing less. These dreams were strange but I would not fall to the temptations that Fen'Harel gave me; well, the dream version of him, anyways. Brushing a lock of my white hair behind my pointy ear, I got out of bed; it was a wonderful morning once more, not that the sun ever set here. It was strange; for someone named the Dread Wolf, well, one would expect him to want to bathe his temple in darkness. It would fit him much more, to stand underneath a moon and the stars in the sky.

Getting out of bed was a simple enough endeavor; whispers of magic floated through the air as I felt it hum to life. This was definitely Fen'Harel's magic. What was he doing? Would I be able to face him after having such a lewd dream about him last night? Gods, I didn't want to think about that. Not at the moment, at least. I was here to serve Fen'Harel, not romanticize him in my dreams. Then again, there was nothing romantic about what had happened. It was pure lust. That's all. It was my second day being awake here at his temple and as I descended from the tower I slept in to the Great Hall I noticed that Fen'Harel himself was using magic to move things around. It was beginning to look like a banquet hall, with a grandiose throne opposite the side the Eluvian was on. On either side of the throne, statues of Fen'Harel in the form of a wolf sat bearing their fangs in judgement.

Fen'Harel turned to me, his voice piercing through the silence of the hall like a shard of ice. "Good morning, Halla. I trust that you slept well?" I froze up. Gods, did he know?! His voice held little to no affection from what it was last time and my confusion was possibly apparent on his voice. "I am not going to be pleased if you haven't done anything by the time I return, Halla." He began to move towards the Eluvian but I stepped in between him and it. The Dread Wolf rose an eyebrow in questioning, seemingly fully ready to inflict his wrath upon me.

"Please, Fen'Harel. I do not even know my name yet." I attempted not to look him in the eyes, a cherry red spreading across my cheeks due to the dream of last night. I willed myself not to blush and I hoped I was no longer blushing for the sake of my own dignity. He was a god. I was a mortal. I should simply be happy to work for him rather than committing blasphemous acts in my dreams with him. Of course, right now I was standing between him and his duty. I wondered what he did when he left the Eluvian. Why did he return here? Surely there were other places that were warmer and more welcoming than this place. Perhaps he stayed here alone before he brought me here. Or maybe he had another keeper, someone who had to leave for some reason? Did they, too, suffer from memory loss like me? I was getting off track, thinking of things that may not even be true.

"Your name is Lena Lavellan." He said, pursing his lips in annoyance. I bowed to him as a sign of apology and he simply walked past me. What had happened to Fen'Harel? Before, he was warm, comforting. But now, he was standoffish. As if he didn't want me to be here. But he was the one who brought me here, right? Even so, his actions, his body language, even his tone of voice spun a different tale than the one that I heard yesterday. Fen'Harel was acting... well, like Fen'Harel from the tales that I... could recall. Even so, they were hazy and incomplete. But I do remember that where Fen'Harel is cunning, a liar, he rarely has mercy and he liked to trick people. Of course he did. He was nicknamed the trickster, after all. Even so, he didn't seem like the type of man to laugh insanely and gleefully to himself for a thousand years while he hid away. As he passed through the Eluvian, I said nothing to stop him nor made any move to do anything other than simply stand there, staring after him.

"Lena Lavellan..." I'd whisper, the name dancing across my tongue. It was so familiar to me, making me feel as if Sylaise herself were blessing me with the warmth of the hearth. Nostalgia flooded me; I'd traipse across the great hall to a sealed passageway. It seemed as if the stone arch into this area of the temple had collapsed into itself; perhaps I could restore it for him and please him all at once, therefore ending his little cold streak towards me. I was satisfied to know my name was Lena. But why did Fen'Harel refrain from addressing me by name? I took a deep breath as I allowed the magic to flow through me, pulling the debris out of the way to clear out a path through the area I wanted to clear up next. Stepping through the now repaired archway, I took great care not to trip over any remaining debris but waved my hand to move it into a neat pile on the side.

I gasped, my eyes widening. This area was beautiful. It was like a ballroom; an arching window of glass stood tall, showing an endless forest, a rushing waterfall and Halla grazing near the water. I pressed my fingers against one of the more intact windowpanes; I needed to restore this room. I needed to see its former beauty. I cracked my knuckles, splaying out my fingers and facing my palms downwards. Focusing on the shards of glass, they all seemed to fly around me as they fit back in the windows as if they were simple puzzle pieces. The cracks in the glass faded with the additive of restoration magic. Through the newly-restored and pristine windows, sunlight filtered and reflecting off of the glass, it began to light up the room properly. I turned to witness a chandelier light up with veilfire. Veilfire. Why did I think of that? However, the fire was a beautiful green that seemed to roar to life without me even needing to do anything. Perhaps the windows were enchanted? Maybe the glass was?

I rose my hands upwards, straining to lift the weight of the chandelier, even with magic. My breathing became more laboured as I intricately connected the chains that hung the chandelier from the roof. It seemed to illuminate the rest of the areas that had shadows cast upon them; I looked down to see a mosaic of the Dread Wolf underneath my feet, beautifully painted and each stone placed a specific way. I bent down and picked up a misplaced stone and put it in its place; looking up at the roof, and of the walls where there were no glass, I realized that there were intricate, beautiful paintings covering the ceiling and walls. Who could have painted these? Perhaps.... Fen'Harel took the time to paint these things?

"Lena." His breath seemed to be gone, but I turned to face Fen'Harel, who seemed flushed. This was surprising; Fen'Harel was known to have a great amount of stamina. He must've been running for some time, or fighting a lot harder than he normally would. He slowed down, fully in armor, looking around at the room. I didn't even realize a good amount of time had passed until Fen'Harel returned. Has it really been that long? I had no sense of time here. I also kept myself busy, so perhaps that passed the time. His breathing steadied as he walked towards me, his steps echoing in the ballroom. "Little Halla, I see you've found my ballroom." So it was a ballroom. There was one question in the back of my mind, however.

"Fen'Harel... what year are we in? Did you truly lock away our gods? If so, is this where you hid for a thousand years, laughing with glee?" My torrent of questions gained me a familiar look; the look of Fen'Harel's annoyance. His face showed he did not approve of my digging into those situations; but I couldn't help it. I was curious and I wanted to know. My thirst for knowledge was greater than my thirst for anything else; I tried to keep out the events of my dream when telling myself that, as not to succumb to the Fen'Harel in the dream. Perhaps it would attract a desire demon; that would do me no good. Maybe it was already here, the desire demon. It could have been one masked as Fen'Harel.

"It is 9:45 Dragon." He said, his lips pursed as per usual. Why did that feel so wrong, though? My brows furrowed as I tried to ponder on why that felt so wrong. "I did remove the gods from the pantheon, but they were false. Corrupt. I see now that was a mistake and I intend to set it right. You've got one thing correct; this is where I hid. However, I slumbered, in a room that you haven't been in yet. For a thousand years I slept until I woke up around 9:40 Dragon." So it'd been five years since he woke. He looked young; there was another question that I could ask him, his age.

"When did you bring me here? How old are you? Why do you claim your brethren were false gods? Certainly you cannot expect me to believe our Elvhen gods are... nothing but lies?" The Dread Wolf possibly was playing a trick on me; at least, I wanted to believe it. Because if he wasn't, this meant that he did not see even himself as a god. A godless world was too much for me to handle. Without the blessings of Mythal or Sylaise, what meaning did any of this have? If they weren't listening, if they were only mortal, then what was the point of it all? Why? I felt greatly saddened at the thought of the culture of our people being false. Of our gods having lied to us.

He raised an eyebrow at my asking his age. "Forty-seven. Barring immortality, the years I've slept and how long I've been immortal of course. Because they were. I don't expect you to believe anything but I will tell you the truth regardless. I brought you here 9:22 Dragon." My heart almost stopped. 9:22 Dragon? Had that much time really passed simply by me being here?! Three years? There was clearly a look on my face because his brows furrowed once more. Gods, he frowned a lot. Also, that man did not look his age whatsoever. He looked quite young for what his age supposedly was. "You slept for longer than you'd imagine. When I brought you to this place I did not expect for you to sleep for so long. However, this place has a way of claiming you. It does not help that it exists outside of time. Your aging is, in retrospect, paused as you are here." My mouth must have gaped wide open because Fen'Harel slipped from his icy exterior and let out a small chime of laughter before stopping himself and regaining the exterior he'd worked so hard to keep on him. I stepped towards Fen'Harel and he looked like he disapproved, his expression hardened and his eyes piercing through me. "What are you doing?"

"You honestly don't look forty-seven. You look a lot younger. I wonder how old I am." I glanced at my hands and wrists for signs of sagging skin and wrinkles in case I might be forty seven too. I glanced back up at him to see a bemused smirk play on the corners of his lips, my heartbeat speeding up as I looked at his face. There was a depth in his eyes that drew me towards him. I wanted to look into his beautiful eyes for a while longer, to indulge myself in my dreamlike fantasies. I had to stop this; it wasn't right of me. He was my Master, and I, a simple servant working around his temple. That was it. With that, I dropped my feelings for him entirely, knowing that it would never go anywhere. Hopefully I'd not dream of him again.

"You're nineteen." He said, in a bored tone. 

"How do you know?

"I can smell it on you."

"How does that work?!"

"Because I am Fen'Harel."

"That's not an explanation."

**S O L A S**

"It's a good enough explanation to quell your curiosity, I presume." I stared icily, trying my best not to smile at her. She was decades younger than I was; I'd had women in bed who were younger, perhaps against their will at some points, but not any younger than sixteen. However, from my pick of women in the old days, I didn't have that here. At least, I didn't have that in the castle. Amongst the elven women whom followed me and those who spied for me, many would give their left arm to sleep with me. They acted confused when I didn't respond to their sexual advances, having presumed that Lena and I were no longer together. Even if we were worlds apart for eternity, I would never bed another woman. My heart belonged to Lavellan; she was a weak part of me. I kept her a secret here in this old, abandoned area at the back of the Eluvian maze, while my troops rested in the maze itself. They wondered where I disappeared to when I would enter the Eluvian and a few of my higher-ranking officials had actually asked. I simply told everyone that access to this place was forbidden as it was sacred and a ground that no mortal should walk on.

That was, at least, the truth. No mortal should trespass here, let alone walk underneath the temple halls lest they find fragments of my past sins. I realized I'd not yet forbidden Lavellan from going into the area where my quarters lay; sadly, I did little sleeping and even less dreaming here. I was busy making a room for our child, when he was ready to be born. Or she. Hopefully a he, to continue my legacy. I hoped I had made the correct choice in hiding Lavellan here; the Inquisition had never stopped looking for their Inquisitor. The child would have to wait for a while longer; even if two months was the limit, all I had to do was implant my seed inside of her before the two months were up and I could resume time around the child. Time was fragmented here and this place did prevent aging, but it did not stop time entirely, not like what I'd done with our child.

Lavellan was as eager to learn, as curious, as inquisitive, as she'd been from the day I first spoke to her. Her twentieth birthday never came and I had a sinking feeling that it never would come. I worried that if she left this temple she'd become like the ancient Elvhen gods in the Pantheon. I wanted to keep her here but the more I did, the more her magical abilities would grow, the more dangerous it would get to remove her. The reaction her mana would have to the normal world would possibly tear open quite a couple of rifts alone; I was unsure. I had no way of testing these things. My eyes lingered on her repaired arm; it seemed to be working properly. I'd rather not go attempt to seek out another woman with the same rare shade of skin that Lavellan had; it was a very difficult trial to find one. It was even more difficult to reconnect a foreign limb to Lavellan with magical energy, make it work in harmony with her movements and see to it that it didn't rot. Blood seemed to be flowing through it, however.

A pang of guilt turned my blood cold as I met her eyes; I had sworn not to lie to her but here I was, omitting the truth, lying once again. My vhenan, my dearest vhenan, I am so sorry. You don't deserve these lies again but it is the only way I can protect you. I am not worthy of you; not worthy of your love or partaking in any pleasure surrounding you. I still met her eyes, staring deeply into them, trying to look uncaring. Trying to push her away. Gods, was she beautiful. The look she had on her face right now was the same as the one she'd given me a long time ago, when I'd asked her if she truly wanted to be with an old man like me. My glorious days were clearly gone, although I could still fight I was no longer young. I've not been young for a very, very long time. She'd been comforting when I'd asked that. She told me no matter who came to her doorstep, no matter how old or young, the man she'd always want and hold so dearly close to her heart would always be me.

My vhenan. I want to embrace you so badly, but I am not deserving. I almost disrespected you, bedded you before even getting to know you. Well, I knew you, but I had to make you fall in love with me all over again first. But I rushed things, and now they may as well be ruined.

"You still haven't told me whether or not you hid in a dank, musty corner of the earth and laughed creepily to yourself for a thousand years," She said, her glare extremely judgemental. I sighed in annoyance; my dearest, did I honestly seem like the type of man to do that? I was practical. These lies that people told about me got out of hand sometimes. I almost wanted to curse at them for taking my name in vain. Other than sealing the gods away, living for eternity, sleeping for a thousand years and being Fen'Harel I was like anyone else. Except wiser, of course. A lot better than any of these elven fools who'd been following a charter of falsities. Gods, I missed my home. But as I glanced over her features for the first time in a long while I felt like I belonged here, with her and a part of me wanted to destroy that Eluvian, truly abandon the elven and simply stay here for eternity, forever locked away in a paradise of our own. The way she'd remembered me in her memories, I knew that she hated me. I knew that the her that I'd wiped clean had attempted to forgive me, was kind enough to extend her hand, but her hate spread out like a poisonous fruit tree. It hurt to know the woman who I love despises me, but I wiped her clean. I had a second chance and a clean slate, so why can't I simply take control of that? Who cares about the guilt for anything other than driving our proud race into the ground?

I had one of two things I desired the most in this corrupt, broken world. But I didn't truly have her, not yet. I'd locked her memories away but always kept them near. "No, I did not hide and laugh like a madman. Those are simply tall tales." I needed to slow my affections for her down; if I approached in lust, she'd lust after me. Not love.

"Tall tales? Like the one where Andruil almost forced you to be her love slave?" My blood ran cold at the memory of when Andruil tied me to a tree and forced herself upon me. She knew I deplored slavery so she proposed to let me go as long as I served her in bed for a full year and a day. As I remembered the memory I could easily remember Andruil's tongue pushing to the back of my throat, her hands snaking into my pants and rubbing my member in an attempt to make it hard... the gasps from me as she pumped her hand up and down to get me off and allure me into agreeing to the deal.

There was a bitter taste on my tongue as I remembered how violated I'd felt, getting no pleasure whatsoever from that but my body betraying me and myself slightly hardening. It gave Andruil great pleasure, but me, none. It was much to my disdain and luck when the Forgotten One, Anaris, found us. I managed to manipulate both by shouting out Andruil's weak spots, invoke Anaris' wrath by telling him he should free me for it was I who bought him victory; in his blind rage, Andruil had recovered and managed to strike down Anaris. Both had to slumber for their wounds were deadly; it was then I'd torn through the ropes with magic, 'chewed' in some stories, making my daring escape. It felt like I was betraying my vhenan by even thinking of Andruil; that woman was one I hated more than any other. "Yes. That was an equally tall tale." I lied, not wanting her to think lowly of me for what'd happened. Not wanting her to know it happened at all.

She seemed as if she had something to say to me. Gods, she was a touch away. I felt as if I were merely obsessed. Nothing was mere about it, however. I wanted to take her here and now, in the ballroom, with no warning. This is where the wolf began to take notice. He'd been dormant, slumbering for longer than I had. He was my curse and my blessing; the cost of my abilities. Take her, he whispered. Take her against her will on this floor like you had so many other innocent, unknowing girls. Remember those days? His growling proceeded in my head and I ignored it to the best of my ability. It was annoying to have to suffer him again, I was rather pleased by his silence.

However, what came with his words was a massive, feral enticement. I made this monster when I took up the mantle of Dread Wolf. I listened to him for so long. He was my inner voice, telling me to enact my desires, commit crimes and debauchery. He so deeply influenced myself to my very core that I had to turn away from my vhenan; my senses felt so much more articulate that I had caught her scent; a lovely smell that I could only compare to a brightly blooming rose. Both he and my lust growled for her; I am sure that if I descended upon her now, that she would suffer wounds and my indescribable lust. If I set myself on her as the Dread Wolf rather than Solas I would never forgive myself.

Gods, I was as hard as I could possibly be right now. It hurt. Also, my armor was tight, which didn't help the pain but it did hide the erection. Tearing into Lavellan's innocence, simply taking her... it was possible.  
"I will be back soon, Halla." I tried to keep 'little' out of my words, trying not to sound like I cherished her. Even so, with my cold voice it still felt like I was holding none of my love back from her. Her face seemed to fall as I stepped away from her, back into the shadows, to retreat into the Eluvian. I knew the Inquisition was currently on the move.

**C U L L E N**

By the Maker, why was finding Lavellan so damn difficult?!

Solas was all over the place but never had even a wisp of a rumor where he had an elven woman beside him whose hair was pure as white snow surfaced. Surely people would recognize her?!  
I needed to bring her back, I had to and I'd do anything to do so. I regretting having not made my move before she left that day; it has been many years but my heart only grew fonder of her in her abscence. I needed her. I couldn't live without her. Finding her was my drive; the beautiful elven maiden whom I'd come to love.

Some called it an obsession and died by my blade.

The demon, Cole, came into the room holding a tray that had tea on it. He'd been shackled to this world, a mage having bound him in magical chains that forced him to do our bidding. He was less than happy in our service but it would prevent him from turning. "Need, want, breathe, live," He whispered, invading my mind. I reeled back and struck him with all of my power and he screamed in pain, toppling over. "Sorry, I'm sorry." He begged and pleaded for my forgiveness as Varric dashed into the room and pulled Cole up, putting himself between the two.

"Cullen! You're forgetting yourself. Just because Lavellan ran away with Chuckles doesn't mean that you can abuse Cole!" Varric snapped, and my anger rose. Abusing Cole? He was a demon, nothing more, nothing less. He'd been close to her but he still refused to say anything about what Lavellan was thinking that day. He held prime information and he shook his head when anyone asked him anything! It was his fault she was gone. His! His fault we couldn't reclaim her.

"What would you have me do, Varric? Treat a demon like a human being?" I shot back, earning me a glare from Varric and a flinch from Cole who was shaking and murmuring to himself, pulling on his magical chains. "And we don't know what happened to Lavellan. We don't know if she ran away with him. He kidnapped her, he hurt her! What if he's killed her or stolen her away?!"

"You're making those accusations without proof!"

"I have more than enough proof with what the lying bastard is! The witch disappeared after Lavellan did. They're consorting against us together, Varric! We must find her! We must find my Lavellan!"

"She was never yours."

I turned in bitter anger towards the voice and there stood Dorian Pavus, an insufferable mage I'd once liked to talk to but had come to hate in her absence. He was one of the ones, like Cole, who possibly knew where she was but was saying nothing. "Who are you to claim that, Dorian? Was she yours? Is that what this is?" He reminded me of her, to an extent. He was a remnant of what she was to me.

"Who are you to claim she was yours? Yes, Lavellan was mine. She was my best friend, my closest friend, my only friend." Dorian's words were laced with a bitter poison that bit into me and I knew that he was speaking the truth. He couldn't be hurting as much as me but surely he was hurting, so why did he stop me from hurting Cole? "Cole is more human than you think. In his years here, he slowly went from being highly respected in the Inquisition to nothing more than a slave and a punching bag for your anger. Do you really think that becoming as low as those in Tevinter will do you any good, impress Lavellan any?"  
"You would know." I turned and I knew my words hit home. His lingering silence was uncharacteristic, but I could tell I had him seething and that satisfied me.

"Lavellan would never love someone like you. Maybe before, when you were you, but you are nothing more than a selfish, vile, bitter, indulgent, violent feral shell of a man with nothing but his own interests in mind."

I turned on my heel and dashed towards Dorian, slamming my fist into his face with all of my strength. It was satisfying to hear his cry of pain as he crumpled to the ground, glaring at me. "Fuck you." I said, smugly. He stood, in his silence, walking over to Varric and Cole, helping Cole up, and proceeded to hastily push them out of the room.

"My sentiments exactly." He'd reply, not even bothering to look back at me but gladly leaving me wallowing in sorrow and despair. Good. I had better things to do. I needed to find Lavellan. I'd check the scout reports for wisp of info. There had to be something. Anything.

Lavellan, by the Maker, live. Live so I can save you.

**D O R I A N**

By the Maker, for the love of Andraste, even as my beautiful face was being repaired it hurt. Varric set my nose back which had seemingly deset itself with a loud crack, not that Cullen'd noticed. How, for the love of the Fade, was I going to explain this to Bull without having him kill Cullen? Bull would take his obsessive behavior the worst, for Lavellan had been dear to him as she had been to me.

I exchanged a guilty glance with Cole, as Varric left the room to go recieve medicinal herbs. It was then that the conversation that we should have had years ago, rather than putting it off, began.

"We have to tell them."

"We can't, Cole."

"Why not?! There's too much pain!"

I sighed, pushing myself off the desk that Solas once inhabited and I took a couple strides towards Cole, lowering my voice. "Cullen has become a shell of the man he once was. Leiliana is too soft. Cassandra is her Right Hand. They do enough as it is without this on their plates."

"I want to find her."

"I do too."

"Then why don't we?"

"So you are keeping something from everyone else! Come on, let me in on it." Sera stepped from the shadows and I let out a string of curses. Maker, not her. Not now. Her lips were looser than most and her gossip was insufferable at times. I tried to ignore her.

"We aren't going to because we're going to go find her alone."

"You're bringing me, right? You have to bring me. I'll tell on you if you don't."

"Okay. We're going to find her, right? Going to find our Lavellan?"

"I'm coming whether you say yes or no. I'll stalk you. I'm good at stalking."

"We're not only going to find her, Cole, we're going to bring her back."

"Hey, Commander Cullen!" Sera raised her voice, shouting loud enough so someone could certainly hear her. I turned my pointed gaze towards her and sighed in defeat.

"You can come, Sera."

"Yesss. I've been dying to actually do something. It gets so boring around here without Lavellan and I kicking ass and taking names." I'd almost forgotten; Sera considered herself a good friend of Lavellan too. How many people had Lavellan touched the hearts of, I wonder. For better or for worse, we had a team of people to go do what we were meant to; retrieve Lavellan, discreetly.

"Alright, I've got some Elfroot and a Qunari." I turned to see Bull's horns get stuck in the doorway and I stifled a laugh as my lover got caught up. It was always cute to see him struggle so when it came to arches lower than him. Varric walked through the door with little to no problem and I began to acknowledge how weird it was to see a Qunari accompanying a dwarf, especially with the size difference.

"No time, we're going on a secret mission to save Lavellan at the moment and keeping it from everyone else. Cole, Dorian, what are you waiting for? Let's get a move-on!" Sera cheered and I audibly groaned and facepalmed loud enough for Vivienne to hear. She seemed to lean over the above railing and audibly laugh, presumably hearing the whole conversation.

"Darlings, you best not be saving my dearest Lavellan without my help. You must need my guidance. Also, saving Lavellan would be too glamorous an offer to pass up!"

"Kadan, you're not planning to sneak away to go get Lavellan without me, are you?" Iron Bull chimed in.

"You can't forget me. No way you're counting me out." Varric's features hardened. I could tell he was hurt, but this was exactly the reaction I didn't want.

"Thank you, Sera, for airing out our secret, meant-to-be discreet plans."

"You're welcome."

"For the love of- ugh. Let's simply go before I change my mind."


	6. Dread Wolf's Respite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dread Wolf makes more mistakes.  
> Cullen shows his true mental state.  
> Soriel saves Lavellan's friends.

Fen'Harel had been gone for two days. Two. I drowned myself in worry as I cleaned the temple areas I had uncovered for the fourth time, wondering what could have possibly happened to him. It was much to my surprise when he came stumbling through the Eluvian and into my arms, an arrow his his shoulder, his gut, and one in his leg. "Fen'Harel!" I screamed, his blood staining my hands.

"Vhenan," He whispered while looking into my eyes before his consciousness faded away. Who was he thinking of when he said that? Perhaps the woman he loved met an unfortunate fate outside of the Eluvian. It was a macabre thought but right now I needed to focus on Lord Fen'Harel. I dragged his heavy, unconscious body towards my room, the only quarters I was allowed to walk into. It would be unbecoming of me to enter his personal bedchambers.

His blood stained the beautiful bed he'd set up me for me all those years ago, but I didn't care. "Fen'Harel!" I slapped him across the face for lack of anything better I could imagine doing. "Stay with me, my Lord!" He blinked awake and there was massive disapproval on his face as he felt the sting of my slap. "Please don't die." I begged, feeling as if I were about to cry. His expression softened.

"It takes a lot more to kill me. Vhenan..." He said, longingly. Whoever this woman was he must be seeing her deliriously. He was smiling at me, giving me a sort of look that only crossed the face of a man truly in love. I allowed him his delirium what with his current state. I began to remove his armour, which the arrows had regretfully pierced despite its strength. My hand burned when I touched them and I could tell they were imbued with magic. I winced but I surrounded my hand with a flimsy barrier of protection which I used to pull the arrow in his shoulder out. He cried out in agony and I gently held him to my chest, rocking back and forth and whispering words of comfort in Elven to him. He seemed to find peace; the arrows were probably doused in a poison meant to kill.

"Fen'Harel, Fen'Harel." I said his name over and over again, and he relaxed. I took this chance to remove the arrow in his gut which received a scream from him. I put my hand over his eyes, shutting his eyelids and whispering once more words of comfort. He calmed, but with my hands crossing his skin I could feel he was feverish, sweat forming on his brow. I began to remove his shirt but he caught my hand, staring at me. "You're not going to play shy, are you? I'm trying to treat your wounds. Put aside your pride and allow me to undress you." He shot me a pointed glare but his hand fell from my own and he allowed me to remove his shirt. How childish was he? Did he not realize his life was endangered?

Now it was time for the arrow in his leg. I placed one hand on his inner thigh which he growled at me doing, but seemed to put up no resistance otherwise. Gods, he was being so insufferable at the moment. A pervert in a life or death situation. I wrapped my hand out around the shaft of the arrow and purposefully tore it out of his leg which garnered another, more satisfying, scream. I began to undo his breeches and this time he ripped my hand away, pulling me towards him. His breath was hot on my face as we was panting, flushed; in pain. "What are you doing?"

"Undressing you." I repeated.

"Well, stop."

"I can't treat the wounds if you don't let me undress you, you idiot."

He seemed aghast as his mouth lay agape. "Did you just call me an idiot?"

"Did I stutter?"

His grip faltered and when it did I yanked down his pants and fell over when I saw the exact thing he didn't want me to see. I covered my eyes and he cursed in Elven. "See, you silly girl? This is why I told you not to." There was pain in his voice and I uncovered my eyes, seeing him almost fully nude, his breeches hanging down from his knees as he angled himself on my bed. His face was genuinely as red as mine, but I grabbed a set of bandages that I'd found in a box under my bed a while back and grabbed his upper thigh. "What are you doing?"

"Treating you."

"I am naked."

"Fenedhis. I'm pretty fucking sure I can see that."

"Then why are you looking?" Damn. I'd been trying my best not to look at it but the way it hung between his legs, resting there, semi-erect...

"I'm not looking."

"Liar."

"I've never seen a man before. I'm simply curious."

"Then feel free to study it all you want." He said, smugly with that prideful confidence of his. I almost jabbed my finger into his wounds as I adjusted the bandages on his leg. Finished with his leg I moved up to his gut. He stopped me. "Can I put my breeches back on now?"

"No. They'll mess with your bandages." He gave me a sour look as I pulled the breeches off of his knees, exposing his legs entirely. He was now fully naked in front of me. I almost held my breath as I took in how muscled he was. I began to treat the second wound, finishing by wrapping the bandages around it. As I moved up to his shoulders I found myself simply a breath away from him; he stared, deeply, at me as I attempted to do my best regarding his shoulder. As I put the finishing touches on the bandages he flipped me over, hanging above me. I stared at him quizzically before he brought his lips down on mine, unable to react in any particular way as he brought his hands up my body and parted my lips with his tongue. He nuzzled into me and kissed the nape of my neck, tenderly.

His hands pulled at my dress hungrily. "You've seen me. It would only be fair if I were to also see you."

"This is a little more than seeing, my Lord." I whispered, diverting my attention from the intensity of his eyes. He grinned before laying another drawn-out kiss on my lips, tugging down the top of my dress to expose my breasts in full.

"Call me Solas. Just for a few minutes, I beg of you." My nipple was in his mouth as he fondled my breasts roughly; he was biting one, completely immersed. I let out a sigh of shock, having never known pleasure like this beyond my dreams.

"Lord Fen'Harel.." He stopped and gave me a pointed glance. "Solassss." On the first S he resumed, causing a hiss of breath from me.

"That's what I like to hear." He whispered.

"Solas, please...! Your wounds. You're poisoned...!" I moaned again as his tongue twirled around my other nipple, as he suckled like any animal would it's mother.

"That doesn't matter to me right now. This does."

"It matters to me. Please, Solas, rest. We can talk about this when you are well." He paused, but begrudgingly stopped and dropped on his side, wincing before pulling me into his arms. "Lord Fen'Harel?" I murmured, confusion overtaking me. But I was more than happy to feel his warmth.

"Stay like this. Just for a while more. Call me Solas."

"Alright, Solas." I whispered. He pulled me closer, until I was facing his chest. I wrapped my arms around him and like that, we fell asleep together. I mourned whichever lady had his heart; surely she didn't realize how broken-up he was over her If he looked to the body of another woman for comfort.

**S O L A S**

I love her. As I pull her closer the truth has never been more bare or inevitable. No matter how I try to hold back, I love her. I lost control for a while there.

I'll make up an excuse in the morning. It was the poisons. The toxins clouded my mind. She will believe whatever I say.

Exactly like the Lavellan I left all those years ago. But this one was still mine. She would always be mine. No matter how many times her friends ambushed me. I thought I'd had an edge over them but my arrogance blinded me and they caught me. I would learn from this.

I would kill Cullen to protect my Vhenan. He'd crossed every boundary in my mind; he'd gone too far. I would press my lips to her forehead, holding her tightly, praying that if there were any gods, that they would be benevolent to our future. I was not a holy man, I was barely even a man. I was an elf. Not even worthy of the title of God.

I love you, Lavellan. I will not let them here. Never, not in a million years would I allow Cullen's hands on your body, doing as I should be doing to you. I would never force myself on you unwillingly, neither would I ever put my own pleasure before yours. I do admit, however, that I would like to be buried deeply inside her, connected to her in body, soul and heart. But not before the time is right, not before the lies stop, not before I could... accept this. Accept that without her, I was nothing. But could I really end up with her despite knowing that I may die soon?

Cullen... I fear what Cullen would do.

Please, Vhenan, just stay forever in my arms like this... let me protect you...

**D O R I A N**   
**Four hours ago**

  
"Quickly now, Vivienne! You wouldn't want to find yourself in a trap, would you?" I snuck through the shadows, flanking the giant and looking to take it by surprise to hopefully deliver a blow that would make it see stars. Damn elves and their affinity to bigger monsters.

It roared and began to thrash as my fire ball set its hair on fire; Bull charged in to take it's left leg out and it fell to one knee as Vivienne cast an ice wall spell. This spell held it there as Sera, Varric and Cole assaulted it with a barrage of arrows.

An exceptionally well-aimed arrow by Cole's hand managed to stick it in the eye and the monster was down for the count. We had bested their strongest monster but still Elven archers attempted to best us. We easily removed almost all from duty except one.

"Where is Lavellan?" I brought my staff to his forehead, threatening to cast a particularly nasty spell.

"I would not tell you, Tevinter Scum. Elven glory; our God Fen'Harel will restore-"

"Yes, we've got that about twelve times now, once from Fen'Harel himself. Do you have any info on who he's bedding?"

The elf gave me a quizzical look as if I was insane. Perhaps asking who their god took to bed was a little forward and strange. "He's not. Your Lavellan is nowhere here; she may have disappeared but none of us have seen or heard anything of our God's old toy."

The butt of a staff slammed into his face and I looked back to see Vivienne putting down her staff from a thrust. She had a look of disapproval on her face but still retained every bit of grace that she had. "I detest when you tribals run around unchecked. This is why our world needs order. Disrespect the Inquisitor again and you'll find yourself seven feet under. Only I may disrespect her, nobody else." Ah, the classic love-hate relationship. Vivienne disliked the Inquisitor's views on the future and argued with her on many points, but they still held each other dearly even if they despised one another's views. An endearing rivalry that lasted beyond the bonds of time and the Orlesian court. Of course, she didn't take well to her rival being called a mere toy as that reflected badly on her; if she were to rival someone that was described as a god's toy it would tarnish her reputation beyond repair.

It was much better as a tale of a rival seeking a runaway rival; the head of the Inquisition, an elven apostate mage and a mage of a newly-formed circle, dueling it out when their paths crossed once more.

_"Relax, darling, I'll always hate you just the way you are."_

_"Vivienne, you're unbelievable."_

_"And you're chasing after a dirty, unwashed hobo with a terrible personality."_

_"Don't talk about him like that!"_

_"Darling, he's trash. Forget about him."_

_"Why? I didn't come to see you for this. Forget it. I'll ask for Morrigan's help instead."_

She mourned the fact that the last conversation they had was less than pleasant, a borderline argument. That argument was one I'd overheard and certainly one that haunted her for years. I'd certainly mourn if Lavellan had gone to Morrigan of all people over me for help.

I do recall Morrigan being unable to help her one day and then having all the answers next on the day that Lavellan departed. I also remember having a nasty hangover; I smelt of booze. I can't for the life of me, however, even imagine why I was drinking so much, let alone with who. I also think that the booze may have been spiked with liquid Lyrium. Not that I was complaining.

Perhaps it was Cullen's reserves.

I abhor that man.

Alas, Vivienne was not the victim here but our darling little Inquisitor, missing, possibly stolen away by the ancient Elvhen god Fen'Harel... she was our 'elf' expertise. So was Fen'Harel. And now they're both gone. So the people who would know where to find them, or to start looking beyond henchmen, are... verifiably... gone.

Perhaps the Eluvians. Ancient Elvhen magic, only Morrigan and Fen'Harel knew the most about them, the Inquisitor some. Damn it. Why is it that everyone who had the knowledge we need to find them disappeared? I will quote the Inquisitor on this one.

** _WHY THE FUCK WON'T THINGS STAY FIXED?!_ **

Who knows. All we had was the possibility of exploring the Eluvians and even so we have no idea how to activate the one back home. As the elf we'd released scrambled off to run away somewhere, possibly to report to Fen'Harel, I signaled to the others. We all waited until he disappeared from sight, then split up, following stealthily after through the thickened wood. As we followed him for hours, it began to dawn on quite a few of us... that this was the path to the lost Temple of Mythal. We'd not been here in a long while and if Lavellan was anywhere it would certainly be close to here.

The guard became thicker and thicker, harder to avoid, the closer we got to the temple of Mythal. Finally, when the bridge to the entrance was in view, that was when we saw him, when things went so down south that they'd probably never be brought back up again.

His armor shone gloriously in the light as several elves came forth to bow to the Elvhen god. Abelas stood vigil behind him along with a woman in full armor without a helm, her hair stretching down her lower back, no vallaslin to be seen. Her hair was as black as the night sky, her body slender. She was gazing longingly at Fen'Harel, shuffling a little closer to him. His response was to smoothly step forwards to avoid any contact with the woman and it was clear he did not desire her the way she desired him.

This is when things became... unfortunate.

"Archers, fire!" Cullen came bursting from the brush and so did the templar archers; they let their arrows loose and many elves fell. Some even pierced Fen'Harel who turned, pale, to run into the temple. Abelas and the woman followed, panicked, as they waved in elves and closed the temple of Mythal's doors. As Cullen and the templars rushed the door, a blue barrier surrounded it and Cullen screamed in anger. "I will have Lavellan returned, Solas, you filthy fucking knife-ear! Flat-ear! Fucking elven cunt!"

I descended the hill, completely bursting from the bushes and I stalked angrily towards Cullen. He turned to look at me but my fist connected with his face and he staggered backwards. "What in fucking blazes did you do that for?!" I screamed, reddened.

"Hello to you too, Dorian," Cullen had a slimy grin on his face, showing his teeth, his eyes whispering 'victory'. This was not a victory, this was needless slaughter. A couple of templars pulled a frightened and badly wounded elven maiden whom had no chance of fighting back to Cullen's view. He laughed. "Take her clothes and put her in my tent. I'll have this one; whatever live ones remain, keep them wounded and have your way with them." How could he? They couldn't fight back! The elven left out here were clearly not fighters. They, possibly, were servants. They had no weapons...!

"My lord, she's gravely wounded. She will not last through the night unless treated-"

"Did I ask for your opinion or did I tell you to put her in my tent? It does not matter if she is dead by the time I get there, if the body is still warm then it is good enough." He turned back to me and I was sickened; this was how far Cullen had fallen in his hatred of elves and their culture. He claimed to love Lavellan but it seemed as if he had changed that love to an obsession and when he couldn't have her he began to hate her. He may not realize it, but he wasn't in love. This wasn't love. If he truly cared, he'd treat the elves with the same respect any of us would give...!

He began to stalk away and I followed him before realizing the templars had seized my companions. "Cullen, what are you doing?!"

"Traitorous scum like you deserves judgement. When I return Lavellan to the Inquisitor's throne, you shall be judged and put on trial properly. Not notifying me of her location was a mistake, Dorian."

I grit my teeth and almost screamed at him. But, like always, I took the lower path rather than the higher one. Maybe I should've stayed silent. "Cullen, my biggest mistake was leading you here. Even letting you get a hint of where she is." I was bitter; for sure. But the look that man gave me was the look of a demon. My blood ran cold as his eyes held everything that a man should fear. Whatever Cullen had turned himself into, he was no longer the man any of us had known; no longer Cullen and definitely lacking human morals. As I was pulled away by templars I realized the true gravity of my mistake and many would be paying for it.

**C U L L E N**

**{Highly NSFW}**

As I entered my tent she screamed.

I ripped off my armor and tore into her like the Dread Wolf would any elven bitch, most likely.

I treated her roughly, inserting myself with no foreplay, tearing her open. She screamed and cried and sobbed and I didn't stop. A name found its way to my lips and I let it out gladly. "Lavellan..."

I thrusted harder, grunting with every thrust and even as her breath stopped and she grew still, I groaned and continued. Her blood stained my sheets as I grabbed her hips. "Lavellan...!" I moaned, releasing all of my built-up seed into the elven girl's body. I held her to my chest. "Lavellan, we're going to have a family, a baby, we're going to be a family!"

Anyone who saw might have called me mad. I repeated my actions twice more, continuing until her warmth became cold. That was the night many of my soldiers came to terms with my new mindset. Many of them adapted to it, deciding that perhaps defiling these elven women was not so unholy. They were simply elves.

And then, we turned on our own. There were few elves in the ranks but it was a brilliant display as we raped both women and men before burning them alive. And the entire time, I loved it. Their suffering fed me and I breathed in before facing a cliff as the smell of burnt flesh and the thought of Lavellan fueled my erection. "Lavellan, this is my offering to you. Lavellan, you're a goddess. Lavellan, you're more than these petty elves; you're beautiful. The only beauty in that race."

She was a goddess. She would be my goddess and I but a mortal at her feet and these were my sacrifices to her in hopes she'd love me. I prayed to Lavellan for safety and protection in retrieving her and that she might bless me with the power to smite Fen'Harel and save her from his grasp.

Our ranks were now free of elves; the only remaining one was... Sera.

I turned to the cages, but stopped. Perhaps Lavellan would be more appreciative if I'd raped and killed Sera in front of her. Yes, a direct sacrifice. I would certainly do that and I'd have ritual clothing imported, perhaps a wedding dress of sorts for Sera and a wreath of flowers for her head to signify her funeral. She'd get special treatment. Lavellan would appreciate her friend being treated well before her sacrifice. Despite her dirty elven looks.

So, with the elven scourge purged from us, eliminating all chances of spies, I called forth a revered chantry Mother to purify us. She, seeing the 'horrors' of what we'd done, would scream. A blade and a threat would change that as she whispered a prayer and told us the Maker and Andraste would forgive our actions; that they understood and approved.

And the men cheered and so did I while our caged traitors looked on in disdain and suffering.

**S O R I E L**

Free the prisoners as my orders decreed and free them I would. My helm hid my 'knife-ears'. Damn fucking shems, killing almost all of us and desecrating our corpses! Would've slaughtered them all if I could but I was not to bring attention to myself. I approached the guard and waved. Funny they'd put only a singular guard on duty, but that Cullen guy seemed a little dense. Maybe he was a fucking idiot, who knows? He was as good as dead to our gods with his sickening genocide plan.

As I approached the guard he gave me a confusing look but that was remedied with a snap of his neck. As good as dead, as good as dead to all of us. Dead among the best of us. The ones in the cage seemed to have varying reactions but a particularly handsome man, possibly a Vint, rested his hands against the cage bars and rose his head. "If you're here to kill us, make it quick, please." He was giving a full view of his neck for a quickly done execution. The big guy seemed to hop to his rescue, pulling the mustache man away from the bars before growling at me menacingly.

"Pipe down, kids. I'm here to get you out." I whispered, grabbing my lockpick and kneeling to work the lock.

"And how can you save us?" The snooty dark-skinned one snapped. Bet she smells like fish.

"Any help would be nice." The dwarf shot a pointed look at Snoots. Mustache embraced Horns and gave a nice display of public affection. Eugh. Gays. Beardless walked towards the cage-bars and the only living elf followed him. She stared at me for a long period of time, silence surrounding her figure. She seemed to be shaking, possibly from witnessing the death of many an elf. Maybe from the fear of thinking, 'I'm next'.

As I swung open the door and counted in order, Beardless, Survivor, Snoots, Mustache and Horns, another exited the cage. I didn't see him so I almost tipped over in surprise as he whispered a meager 'thanks.' This kiddo was like a ghost. I motioned for them to follow me, and between their endless questions I let out a frustrated sigh. "Know that for some reason Fen'Harel wants you alive and he wants you to know that 'She's safe.' Whatever the fuck that means, anyways. Didn't think he was the type to be so sentimental about old travelling companions, especially ones who tried to kill him, but I guess that is logic?"

As I led them away, towards the exits, I dashed into a bush and 'disappeared' with a little trick. They searched for me, but they could not find me. As my form twisted and my fur burst from my skin I dashed past Mustache and towards the secret entrance to the temple of Mythal, causing him to gasp in surprise.

It's funny that people would call me an Agent of Fen'Harel when Fen'Harel was my master, my creator, the one that gave me human form.

I squeezed through the sewer underneath the temple, one only fit for the small. To Lord Fen'Harel, I'd have to break each and every rule set for me; I'd have to enter the Eluvian he rested in.


	7. Respite, Broken

It was much to my shock when I woke and saw a man that was not Fen'Harel standing over me, staring directly at my exposed chest. I screamed, scrambling back. This caused the beast to wake as he raised his arms, frost surrounding his open palms as a threat.

"Nice breasts." The man said nonchalantly, but it was clear he was annoyed. His eyes, however, did not move from my chest and I awkwardly covered them with my arms. Fen'Harel lowered his hands and cursed loudly.

"Fenehdis. Soriel. What the fuck are you doing here?" He glared at Soriel, allowing all of himself, the bareness, to be gawked at. Soriel seemingly didn't blink an eye; by his posture he was used to this. "Have you no decency, pup?"

At this, the man named Soriel seemingly laughed. "Relax, Fen'Harel. I have no interest in humanity, at all. You know this. I simply live to serve and I've seen enough of it to say I've seen it all in the past... was it a thousand years or more? Well, I don't really know and I don't really care." The nonchalant attitude he wore was actually quite attractive. He had a rugged handsomeness, one you'd find in the features of a great white wolf. A strong jaw, almost as strong as Fen'Harel's jawline.

He had white hair that ran down his back in a makeshift braid that extended to the small of his back. His build was firm and muscled but not over muscled and he wore a simple garb, plain and emerald-coloured. Both seemed to be locked in a staring contest. "Why did you defy my orders, Soriel?"

"Had to check if you were alive, m'lord. Now I see what you meant by, 'she's safe'. Though you had them crazy-eyes on, you see. Didn't actually think you would steal 'er away." His gaze trained on me and my mind took a few seconds to adjust to their conversation. What was going on? Were they speaking of me, or...

"Excuse us, Lena. I must have a talk with Soriel alone." He rose from the bed, not bothering to dress but pulling Soriel out of my bedchambers. I honestly wanted to speak to Lord Fen'Harel and find what happened to his vhenan but I suppose that could wait especially if his conversation with Soriel was urgent. In the meantime, I would focus on cleaning my room so Fen'Harel might not return to an eyesore.

**S O R I E L**

"Oh, there's nothing beyond the forbidden Eluvian worth mentioning, Soriel. Oh, it's just an old temple of mine, Soriel. Oh, I'm not sleeping with anyone, Soriel. Oh, stop helping Elmira attempt to sleep with me, Soriel. Oh, I'm not gay, Soriel. Must I go on?" I crossed my arms and looked at Fen'Harel with the grumpiest face I could muster. Elmira was basically Elvhen royalty back in the day before she ended up falling to sleep and preserving her immortality before Fen'Harel awoke all of us. She was meant to wed Fen'Harel at some point and their union would certainly stabilize many an elf's faith in our pantheon, adding a new goddess to the mix.

Unfortunately despite Elgar'nan's attempts to pick a lovely bride the god of rebellion, well, rebelled. Elmira was left at an empty altar, which was a bad way of saying 'I can't go through with this', so Elgar'nan did Elmira one better; Elmira was wed to Fen'Harel forcibly without his attendance. Now all to do would be to make him accept the wedding and redo it so they might actually have a chance together. Now I find that he's sleeping with a less-than-average woman with very nice breasts whom was the Inquisitor whom he'd betrayed? Not a smart move. Elmira was two things; powerful and short-tempered. She'd kill Lavellan before the sun touched the sky, should she ever know.

Elmira was very much in love with Fen'Harel and as his guardian spirit, thing, deity, servant, thing, my first priority was what is best for Fen'Harel regardless of his opinions on the matter. He is as troublesome now as he was when he was a wee tot, first summoning and imbuing power in me. Frigging prodigies.

"You shouldn't bore yourself with the details, Soriel." His tone was as frosted as one might expect from a man who'd been caught cheating on his not-so-wifey wife. Elmira didn't know of his... excursions, with the Inquisitor. I went to lengths to assure she'd never find out. Prayed to Dirthamen that our secrets be kept to the grave. His gaze was on a different level. It pushed me out, kept me from linking up with him, disconnected our goals. "You may resume your duties but you must not tell anyone of this. Please obey my orders next time and refrain from intruding in my temple."

"Fen'Harel, the last time I was aware, I was a guardian Deity. I protected your shrines, got my hands dirty for you, collected the prayers and wishes and brought them to you. We fought many battles together. As our relationship grew I never left your side and more and more of my kind began to fall under your command. I'm not a slave, m'lord. I'm an ally, a friend. If you can't trust me then who can you trust?" I shot daggers of glares at him, unappeased with his behaviour. I serve him and this is how he repays me? With secrets, lies and annoying commands? His glance softened and he let out a sigh.

"Thank you for heeding my orders. You did heed them, did you not?" Worry clouded his features for but a second as I nodded. He'd made it all dramatic.

**A MINUTE AFTER CULLEN'S ATTACK**

Fen'Harel came rushing in and he'd quickly order the doors closed. As they came to a close I realized that we'd left many an elf outside of the temple, but that did not matter. My own magic would have to do as I could feel my master was drained, unable to cast with his wounds. I rose my hands towards the door and many an Elven Mage joined in unison to cast a spell of protection. Now, they could see to the wounded in peace.

I turned to Fen'Harel, whom collapsed against me. We'd heard the entire exchange regarding Killer screaming at the door and Mustache screaming back. They were loud, noisy and annoying. I didn't have that nickname for Mustache just yet but hey, this is a recall. "You must save them, Soriel. Even if you're ornery, save the people they've got locked away. The importance of this is dire. Tell them she is safe." Why did he have to be so grim and fatalistic? By the gods, I knew I should have served Elgar'nan when he offered. But I jest, Fen'Harel was the best god to serve for many reasons. So like any fool in worship I agreed, assumed my true form and slunk into the sewers like he slipped through the Eluvian in the chaos.

Elmira and Abelas were tending to the wounded, but they were not getting ready to leave. No, the Temple of Mythal was impenetrable in some ways and the magic cast here was reinforced by the ancient magics that lay sleeping beneath the temple. So, they would last against Cullen's siege for as long as possible before seeing this monument fall. If it were to fall it was as easy as escaping to the crossroads and making fort in a different place.

**RIGHT GOD DAMN NOW**

I was very angry with Fen'Harel. This was clear with my hands on my hips pose which he rolled his eyes at like a disobedient teen. "You need to return the Elven woman to the crazy madman outside of the temple of Mythal. Now."

"He will harm her."

"Don't you think you taking her is what drove them all to madness in the first place?! Can't you just give her back and fix everything?"

"It's not that simple."

"It should be. Fucking shemlens, making things all complicated. Fucking you, kidnapping Elven girls." I wanted to smack him, dammit. But Fen'Harel tends to hold grudges. Even if you're in the right the only way he'd ever forgive an action against him would be if he really, really liked you.

"Soriel, don't you have somewhere to be?" Arrogant prick. Acting all smug just because he's getting some of some crazy Templar shemlen's girl. She did have nice tits, though. Very nice. I would like to visit her again later, perhaps when Fen'Harel wasn't around. Not because of her tits per se; but to figure out how much of a threat she posed to m'lord's mission. If she'd divert his attention from freeing his brethren.

I turned away, towards the Eluvian before stopping temporarily, glancing over my shoulder at the ever-so-distant Fen'Harel. "Keep her well hidden. I doubt you can return her safely at the moment but there will come a time, an opening. Make sure Elmira, especially, does not find out she is here and your actions with the girl. When it comes down to it, you can't argue. We will be returning her so the Templar will stop his needless path of slaughter." With that, I stepped into the Eluvian, to see to the wounded and check our provisions.

**L A V E L L A N**

Unfortunately for me, as Fen'Harel left I was forcibly pulled into sleep by things unknown. I don't know how long I was sleeping, but faintly, ever so faintly, a man screamed.

"Vhenan, I beg of you!" I couldn't make out if I'd heard the voice before. This unsettled me; I recognized the voice but from where. "Please, don't! Let the witch drink from the well!"

"The elf is actually on his hands and knees." This time, the voice of a woman. "Someone capture this moment forever in a crystal or something." When there were no other echoes of voices I'd hear her scoff.

"This power stays with the Inquisition. With the elves. There is no way I'd let an outsider take our history, take what is ours to claim." This voice was undoubtedly muddled and hard to hear; it was the worst of the three, completely unrecognizable. Were all of these people Elven?

"Vhenan, please step away from the well, please!" The voice was almost in tears; absolutely frantic. Why the hell was he getting so worked up over a tool that drew water? What on earth could be drawn from a well that could give one considerable power? Well, unless there was some kind of draught. But if there was dehydration why would the man beg the other voice not to drink? Perhaps the well was poisoned. Or something else that was pretty standard regarding that amount of begging for someone not to do something.

I didn't have the perception to realize the truth, not yet.

I gasped for air as I shot up from bed, my sleep disturbed. Fen'Harel sat on the side of my bed, wearing no shirt but wearing his beige slacks. I ran my fingers down his back and he did nothing to stop me as I traced outlines amongst his many scars, including the new ones. "Nightmare, Halla?" His voice was more flat-toned than usual and I wondered if it was alright for me to simply touch him like this.

I inhaled sharply at the thought of last night flashing through my mind as Fen'Harel waited for an answer. "Yes, my Lord." He seemed hunched over, clasping both of his hands together. He'd breathe deeply.

"About last night... that was a miscalculation on my part. It was simply the poison; I was seeing things and I shouldn't have assaulted you like that. I apologize." He was saying sorry to me? I didn't know whether to accept it or to be offended by his little moment with me. I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it again as I let my hand drop to my side. With that, he silently left the room and I turned in my bed to my side, my heart feeling a little heavier as the iron door at the bottom of the stairwell to my tower slammed shut.

It is wrong, I told myself. It is so very wrong.

Then why does it feel so damn good?

If it's so wrong then why do I want it to happen?

**D O R I A N**

**"Fabulous."**

I stated in annoyance, my voice a mere whisper as we crept through the underbrush. Cullen's goons were scouring the forests for us, burning trees, looking for any elves that might've slipped away from their little sacrificial orgy. Sera sat beside me, looking rustled to say the least. Bull, Cole, and Vivienne had taken the riverway; there was no way they'd make it through our route and we had a bigger chance of getting caught had we gone as a larger group. Varric didn't even have to crouch like Sera and I; he simply stood as he walked along and I somewhat envied his midget abilities.

Splitting into groups of three was simple; Bull was more of a fighter but unfortunately he'd have to swim upriver to get away with it, while Vivienne and Cole were better off crawling along the shallow riverbed much to Vivienne's dismay. She'd begged for us to switch, but she didn't match up well enough with, well, anyone. The only one she really tolerated was Bull, so, viola. Less arguing, more action.

A guard patrol neared closer to the brush we were hiding and all of us, I was extremely certain, held our breaths and prayed to whatever higher power might be listening at that current time that the patrol would not find us. Our prayers seemed to pay off as they moved to the underbrush beside us.

"I grew up as a human, you know." Sera said, finally breaking the silence with a whisper. It sounded like her heart was broken, shattered to pieces. "I always thought... that elfy crap, it was only elfy crap. I despised it when the Inquisitor and Solas tried to bring out the inner elf in me. I was so, so, happy. Especially to hear the Dalish got their elfy crap wrong. It filled me with glee. But then, then I saw what Cullen did to all these elves and I..." Her voice trailed off. Now wasn't really the time for a perspective-changing monologue but seeing as Sera probably wouldn't shut up until she resolved her personal issues I had to indulge her.

"Maybe, for once, you should've listened to the Inquisitor. She's done plenty for me, mostly against my will. She led me to a tavern without telling me my father was lying in wait and forced me to sort out my issues. She didn't care that I was gay, but afterwards, she looked like she was about to cry when she asked why I led her on. I told her I wouldn't do it anymore and she said, 'Dorian, don't you dare stop flirting.'" I chuckled to myself; I treasured every memory, because my only friend, my best friend, was one of the only people in this world I gave a shit about. She gave a shit about me, my future, my past. My demons.

"Look, Dorian, I really wasn't looking for more of a comparison to 'what the Inquisitor did for me', I'm trying to say that maybe... maybe I do feel a little more elfy after witnessing what I did. Maybe I do... but I still hate the elves. And their culture. And stupid Fen'Harel."

"We all hate Fen'Harel." Varric butted in.

"Absolutely deplore him." I agreed.

"He's a prick." Varric was going overboard now.

"Exactly, right?! What about all of his, 'Elven glory'? Why is he so damn prideful?!"

"Yeah, he should be more humble."

"He needs a shower. Then he can be prideful."

This stopped our immediate banter as I turned to face Vivienne. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to assist, darlings."

"Assist with bloody what, might I ask? Do we look like we need assistance? No? That's because we made a plan and I expected we might stick with it. Looks like the plan is forfeit now, though."

"Oh, Dorian, you've always had a flair for the dramatic."

I glared at Vivienne and she gave me one of her annoying little 'oops' smiles. She was compromising everything and if they couldn't get along-

Then again, looking over the current members of the party, Sera was having a depressive episode and becoming strangely more elfy, Varric was cracking jokes and trying to keep himself together as the world he knew came crashing, burning, down to his feet and I've barely registered what had happened. Vivienne seemed to be reacting pretty normally but currently I was the only one looking for a fight, but Vivienne could easily get a rise out of either. She liked doing that and when she did that she usually got into a grudge match where our enemies can hear everything.

I clamped my sweaty palm over her mouth, gaining a glare of hatred from Vivienne, nodding over to the bushes. A stray guard had heard something and was coming this way.

**"Fabulous."**

I muttered, as I signaled for Sera to do something. I signaled again. I then furiously signalled four more times but she was in a very damaged, mentally scarred forever world of her own. So, instead, I signalled to Varric, who gladly took out the guard and dragged him into the bushes. I crouched and began to travel forwards. Cullen's camp was a ways away from Mythal's temple, not too far, but it was in between us and the elves. We had to do our sneaking to get there, otherwise he may break through and take Lavellan.

We had to get to her before he did.


End file.
